I have longed to reflect on a concern that I have had for some time now. The concern comes from today's college students, their parents, their attitudes, and the relationships among all three.

In general, the parents of these students have the best of intentions but often hover too closely (in my opinion) to their students' affairs. Therefore, they have earned the moniker "helicopter parents."

In their defense, they are accustomed to having full access to their children's high-school academic records. When their children turn 18, that right shifts to the students themselves. Suddenly the parents find themselves having to jump through hoops before being allowed access to their students' affairs.

Further, if the parents are the ones forking over thousands of dollars--hundreds of thousands of dollars, even--to pay for that highly-coveted college education for their students, shouldn't they have a right to view such things?

Maybe the baby-boomer parents of these students are simply going to extremes to give their own children things the best of everything. The parents themselves are children of a generation that lived through the great depression, after all. Many did not enjoy certain luxuries that their conservative parents could not afford. As a result, they overcompensate for their own children.

But when does it go too far? I am alarmed at the observations I have made that indicate a severely apathetic set of students these days. In general, this group of students coasts through their college career, allowing their parents to pull all the strings and their advisors make all their decisions for them.

The relationship that students have with their parents and their academic advisors really is their own business. I'm expressing how much it saddens me when today's students don't stand up for themselves and refuse to take ownership of the paths they travel.

"My advisor told me not to take any math classes with Instructor XYZ because his teaching style is not right for me." This sort of thing appalls me. Determining what kind of teaching style is best for a student should rest with only one person, and it isn't the advisor.

"My fraternity brothers told me that I should take calculus at a community college rather than my own school because it's a lot easier there." It's a shame that some students would automatically subscribe to this philosophy. What ever happened to taking on a challenge?

Maybe I'm just naive. When I was an undergraduate, I made my decisions on my own and dealt with whatever consequences became of them. I visited my academic advisor only because I was required to, not because I expected her to tell me exactly which classes to take in the next semester. I mapped out backup plans and backups to backup plans. I didn't roll over and comply with every rule and regulation that was thrown at me, but rather challenged the purpose behind such mandates.

College is supposed to be the time when young adults mature and stop letting mommy and daddy hold their hands. At the pace we are going, I anticipate having to not only interview a candidate for a job but also the candidate's overbearing mother or father.

From an ethical perspective, my thought is this: Are the parents behaving unethically by having such a tight grip on their children? Are they acting in a manner that is "bad" or "wrong"? Do their actions reflect the best interests of their children, or only what their perceptions of those interests should be?

At the risk of sounding self-righteous, what I hope to learn fom this is to merely inform my own children and let them make their decisions for themselves.